Prove You’re A Dallas Local

I love lists. D Magazine did a great one for “What You Must Do In Dallas“. There is some great stuff in there. I’ll be a picky mother fucker and point out that there is a few that are not even in Dallas. Chicken friend steak in Roanoke? Drinks in Ft. Worth? Balloons in Plano? I’m pretty sure you can get drunk, eat something fried and get high at the State Fair that’s in Dallas. No need to go to all these places. So I broke down a couple of thought about this on Twitter but thought I’d compile them in a post for you. Enjoy my list of things that prove you are a Dallas local.

  • Been Dale Hansen’s Designated Driver.
  • Be black in Highland Park. (This will allow you to also get pulled over in Highland Park.)
  • Embarrassed of your Mayor honoring a felon.
  • Bought weed from Quincy Carter.
  • Avoid the “Pee Seat” on DART. This can be combined with “Watch Homeless Peeing on the DART Train”.
  • Drive 45 minutes out of town to see your local baseball and football team play.
  • You are NEVER scared when Jerry Jones’s face is in HD.
  • Didn’t get to go to this years’ Super Bowl.
  • You fail to cheer the local college you actually went to and choose between UT and A&M.
  • Don’t give a fuck about the show Dallas.
  • Have a Norm HitzgesĀ impression.
  • Cock-punched someone for saying “I really like having that Subway in Deep Ellum.”
  • Seen parents in a bare fisted brawl at a high school football game. Also will accept Pee Wee and Middle School games.
  • Get RT from @nbc5janemcgarry on Twitter with a #FUCKYES hashtag.

A Day in the Life Part 2

I head home a little after 3. This is the other nice about my job. Leave early. Home early. Little to no traffic at this time too.
At this point I get home and take care of the dogs and this blog experiment falls apart.
I attempted to take a picture every hour but that failed cause work got crazy.
I let other people frustrate me so then this project got harder. Also I actually had plans that night so it was going to get harder. I got home and got busy and lost it.
I couldn’t finish.
I had to meet Terry for dinner and then get in line an hour ahead of it’s start. Oh, I had passes for Green Hornet which didn’t open until Jan 2011. We met at Gloria’s for Mexican and drinks.
Lots of drinks.
So many drinks that we were late to our own deadline. Too late to get into the movie.
I want to see this movie. I’m kinda excited. I’ve only heard bad things so my expectations are pretty low. I only knew Green Hornet from the show. I recently started reading the Kevin Smith run, from his unused script. Damn shame because I’ve lost a little respect for Kevin lately but really enjoyed his take.
We get in line. They count off the people and we are so late and so far back at the end of the line it seemed pointless.
Terry wants to leave.
I want to stay.
He took off to go watch something at home and I’m sure I can get in and just sit in the isle.
No fucking way. As little regard as most theaters have for what customers do in the theater, the companies that put them out had tough security. Guards were at the end of the line and at the door. Your phone was taken and bagged and tagged. I gave up quickly.
Since I had spent so much time and was in already I ducked into Black Swan.
Wow, not a movie you want to see all fucked up but great flick.
Anyhow, I hope to follow this up again at some point and just note what I do the remained of the day. Not that it’s exciting or anything. All in all it’s pretty boring but it forces me to look at things and that’s the interesting part.
I see that I let other people bother me. I bet it’s just a blip in their day but I let it get to me. Also, I tend to let my stuff slide to the back instead of finishing it. This being a part of it but also this follow up post to explain it. It’s forced me to write so I like the exercise of writing a day down.